Today the phrase ‘Teamwork Makes The Dream Work’ has tested me. My husband and I will celebrate our 24th wedding anniversary this year. We have been together for a total of 28 years. Today we cleaned out ONE closet together. The result: divorce papers were almost filed. You would think that after all these years we would have this teamwork thing down. We don’t! If any married people tell you they have it down – they are lying.
Not one married couple I know has anything down. Not teamwork, not communication, not vacation spots in common – NOTHING.
I admit – I’m still a little salty over the cleaning out of the closet incident. His version of cleaning it out is to throw everything out without going through it. He doesn’t know what’s in there and hasn’t ever used anything in there, so just toss it all out. My version of cleaning it out is to go through the baskets that were in there and keep a few miscellaneous things as I know I have used them, and will again.
Teamwork Makes The Dream Work, But Does It Really?
After all these years, he still doesn’t understand my need to be in control. Even though I am truly working on letting that need go. And after all of these years, I still don’t understand how he can just get rid of “things” without looking at them to make sure he doesn’t need them still. Maybe it’s a man thing? I have no idea… What’s also a little weird to me is I actually can throw out things without going through them. However, I still felt the need to take my time with these particular items as they reminded me of when the kids were little. Not that our kids used these specific items that were in the closet, but for some reason the items reminded me of that time.
Want to know our secret to staying together for so long, even with “cleaning the closet” incidents? We go to therapy together.
The one thing I know we have down is that we both fight to keep our relationship on the right path.
We don’t go on a regular basis, but we do know when we need to check in with someone else to help guide us through the shifts in life that create those “cleaning the closet” moments. It took us a few times to find the right person for us, but when we did it made a huge difference in how we communicate with each other. Having a mediator has helped us figure out each other, our kids, and more. I’m thankful my husband is willing to fight with me for us.
He helps me realize that teamwork DOES make the dream work – unless we are cleaning out a closet…
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